Tuesdays. I believe are by far the worst day of the week for me. You know, every quarter it changes. Last quarter it was Thursdays, and that was because of Color Theory and Basic Design. But, even though I hated those classes and struggle through them. The people I met in those classes helped me get through it, because they we’re also having trouble and I felt I was at the same level, like we we’re all learning at the same pace. But now, NOW I have Perspective/ proportions and Typography. They are just so fuckin hard for me. I don’t know, maybe this week was just bad for me…
You know how people put all their anger and pain into their work (Whether it be their music or their writing or in my case just art) when their feeling like shit. It usually turns out great and surprisingly some of their best work…Why in the flying fuck does that not happen to me??? When I feel like shit and depressed, and I have to do my projects, my work comes out like crap, worthy of a D or F, well that’s only in my Typography class. That class is so hard, it’s seems that everyone gets how to do it. Their work is just so amazing. There’s this one guy who is in my class and has already been in this graphic designing field for 22 years.
22 YEARS! WHAT THE HELL, HE’S IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LEAGUE THEN I AM. Not only is he older and mature in his art, but the freakin bastard has experience, it’s not that type of experience you would get by practicing an instrument. It’s the kind of experience I hope to get when I graduate, WORK EXPERIENCE! He has been able to work 22 years in graphic design. That’s so fuckin awesome. Since he has all this experience, he knows stuff. Little tricks of the trade and his work are just breath taking. My work compared to his is just…well I don’t put my work next to his cause I know my teacher will grade lower if he sees his then mine. Heheh I’m not that stupid. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I feel I’m so incredibly behind everyone else, that guy isn’t the only great and talented artist in that class. More then half are amazing. I find myself struggling to keep up with the rest of the class. I’m really scared, what the hell is gonna happen to me? I need to figure out how to make my art unique, make it so people want it. I’m just at a loss right now, it’s like I’m stuck. LOL like I’m in a bubble and there’s a tiny hole and once I get through that hole I’ll be free and confident. So far the only part of my body that has gotten through that hole is my finger. L
I think what brought this on was; today my typography teacher is having us all redo a project, which is fine cause I wanted to redo it anyway. I went up to him after class to ask him what I should fix and crap. I just said “What should I fix? I was having a hard time understanding the style.” His response; “Study the style. That’s all there is to it.” What the hell, if that was all there was to it, I wouldn’t have fuckin asked. I did look the style up; I went through tons of websites and artist’s crap, trying to figure out this stupid Swiss Typography crap. How is it, that teacher can take up four hours talking about his art and can’t seem to think up more then nine words to fix mine? GAHHHHHHHH! That just made me bitter.
I think what I need to do is just keep at what I am doing, and not give up. They say if you can deal with it through the tough times and most discouraging moments it will be all worth in the end. So I’m gonna see if that’s true and just push through my little bubble.
… WOW that was great, getting all that out. It’s been awhile since I posted something in here. See ya.